In which the annoying Stu Douchebag character gets more screen time than he deserves, Louis gets a new love interest in Canada’s own Carly Pope, Harvey gets to labour under a contrived 2 day deadline, and Mike and Rachel get to have sex.
Mike is having a cozy chat in his cell with his bestie Kevin about Kevin’s young kids, when he gets called away to see Harvey, making a late night emergency jail visit to tell him about Cahill’s Who Wants To Be An Stoolie deal.
But Mike doesn’t want to make Kevin inform on his father-in-law! Even without knowing what crimes Kevin or his father-in-law have committed. He tells Harvey no, and lies to Kevin about why Harvey came by, says it was to tell him Gallo can’t be transferred out. Harvey lies in turn to Cahill that there’s no deal unless it’s in writing, but Cahill sees through that (like Rachel saw through Harvey’s lie 2 weeks before – is Harvey so transparent? ). In a flagrant bid to add some episode tension, Cahill says the deal offer is only good for 2 days.
The next day, Mike calls Donna to say he won’t take the deal so don’t make him. Harvey wants to let Rachel know about the deal in the hope she will pressure Mike, but Donna advises both him and Cahill that if Rachel finds out that Mike gave up a chance to be with her sooner than in 2 years, their relationship will not survive! Cahill doesn’t give a shit about Mike’s love life, but when Harvey comes up with a crazy scheme for Cahill to secretly meet with Mike to convince him, Cahill agrees to it.
The crazy scheme involves getting someone in jail to drug Mike’s prison food, which makes Mike pass out in the cafeteria and be taken “to the infirmary” for 8 hours, except really he’s put into Harvey’s car, with the help of the warden, and taken to Rachel’s apartment. She finally OPENS THE DOOR, they have a bittersweet yet joyous sexual reunion, and he tells her about the deal.
Cahill shows up at the apartment building to talk to Mike, and when he finds out Mike is inside post-coitally trading you’re-beautiful, no-you-are compliments with Rachel, he’s all what-the-hell, where-are-your-priorities-man? to Harvey. Wise Harvey knows that a few hours with his One True Love will turn Mike into a snitch, and sure enough, Mike comes out and announces that he told Rachel everything, and he will take the deal. OR WILL HE?
Gallo, by the way, also wants to take the deal Mike offered him – to try to arrange for Gallo to get out on parole in 6 weeks. Harvey does not like this idea, but Mike says okay fine, and somehow files a motion on Gallo’s behalf from jail. OR DOES HE?
Because Rachel is more than just Mike’s moll, she begins work on her Innocence Project death row case. A Mr. Bailey, the convict in question, does not want the help of a mere law student at first, not after he’s been proclaiming his innocence for 10 years and no one would listen, but hey, someone is better than no one. And Rachel confesses to Donna that working on the case keeps her mind off obsessing over Mike in jail, so it’s a Good Thing.
Independent story line #2 finds Louis flirting and clicking with Tara, a pretty architect who shares his interest in opera, ballet and intuitively understands his office space needs too. When Louis confesses to Jessica that he has already fallen in love with Tara, she foresees trouble and forbids him to hire her to remodel the offices. Louis hires her to remodel his Hamptons house into an office instead – anything to spend more time with her doing stupid things like sniffing her neck.
Stu Douchebag bought some of Nathan Burns’s company’s shares last week on Harvey’s behalf but is being douchey about them this week, as well as goading Louis into rages for the fun of it, so Jessica elects to put him in his place. She calls him a pissant and orders him to ‘unwind that trade,’ he asks her out (as if), she somehow manipulates a stock he holds – to his disadvantage, and their sparring ends with him hiring PSL as his lawyers. Jessica even gets him to agree to stop harassing Louis. She’s awesome when she lowers her voice an octave and growls out her commands.
Next week: Someone (everyone?) has got trust issues.
Kim Moritsugu is a Toronto novelist and sometime TV show recapper whose latest novel is a suburban comedy of manners called The Oakdale Dinner Club.
